Lilah's labor story

This picture was taken the day before I delivered.

I've had a million people ask me about my birthing experience, so I thought I would make a blog post about it. Warning! Gory gooey details about my labor are ahead. Proceed with caution.

Before I begin, I want to let everyone know that I believe wholeheartedly in the epidural. I had one with both my girls, and it made my birthing experiences 100% enjoyable. Once upon a time, I had this idea of what I wanted my child birthing experience to be like. There were flowers and red tents and angels singing and petite little panting noises in between each contraction while my ever so diligent husband/coach swooned over me with ice chips and cute little Asian fans. Much to my shock, my husband slept through the first half of Hailey's labor, I don't even remember being asked if I wanted any ice chips and there wasn't a fan in the vicinity. I happily threw my birthing plan out the window and did what came naturally - screamed for an epidural. With my second birth I had no expectations for what was going to take place during my labor and I enjoyed it a million times more than my first, and I have nothing but good things to say about delivering Hailey (minus the serious lack of cute little Asian fans).

And so the story begins....

As most of you know, the nearest American hospital is an hour away from where we are stationed. If I wanted to deliver somewhere there was anything besides kimchi to eat, I had to go stay at the Storks Nest for the last two weeks of my pregnancy. The Stork's Nest is a sort of barracks/dorm for pregnant ladies on post. For the last two months of my pregnancy I debated whether or not I was going to go and stay there, simply because I didn't want to be away from TJ and Hailey for that long. I had friends here who were willing to drive me to the hospital if I went into labor. Actually, my friends and I joked about how funny it would be to hop a cab to the hospital just to see the Korean cabbie's reaction. Anywho, TJ put his foot down after a few weeks of debating, so when I got the call saying my room was available, off I went. That was Wednesday the 14th. Thursday and Friday went by really REALLY slowly. I spent a lot of time at the library (a 15 minute walk) and checked out all my comfort film, mostly consisting of a shirtless Matthew McConaughey.



On an unrelated note, did you know that Spellcheck thinks that "McConaughey" is just an incorrect way to spell "naughtiness"? I thought that was interesting.





...cough...



Anywho -- on Friday night, TJ and Hailey came and stayed with me for the weekend. We went and got Starbucks, took Hailey to the park, and Hailey and I got a manicure/pedicure done by 4 different Korean women who didn't speak a lick of English. It was great!



We all had a fun weekend until it came to an awkward halt. We were at Burger King. Yes, the gross fast food place that cooks all those not so chickeney chicken nuggets in pure fat. I have no shame. Okay maybe I have a little shame, but I didn't feel like cooking or walking to a better place to eat. I regretted the choice immediately, when I felt nauseous after taking a few bites of my greasy chicken sandwich. I ran to the bathroom, where I proceeded to get sick, and pee my pants. I was mortified! Here I was, in a very public place, peeing myself. Lucky for me, we didn't have a car, so I had to walk my 9 month pregnant self the half mile back to my dorm. Did you catch the sarcasm?

Poor TJ had no clue what to do for me and Hailey had no idea what was going on. Little did I know that that was the beginning of my labor. TJ and Hailey left a few hours after that. At around 12:30 Sunday night, I was in the middle of watching Fly Away Home (don't laugh). I got up to use the restroom and my water broke. I was ecstatic! Not because I was going into labor and I was going to meet my new daughter for the first time, no no, I was excited because I could tell TJ that I didn't actually pee my pants in a Burger King, my water was breaking! Reputation saved!

I called TJ and told him, then I called all the parents back in the states to let them know. All the while I'm calmly packing my hospital bag and trying to figure out how in the world I'm going to get to the hospital. After talking to the labor and delivery nurse, I decided that taking a taxi was the best way. I gigged excitedly. Some would have called it a cackle....hrm...anyway. I silently said a prayer for the poor taxi driver and waddled my way over to the taxi stand where there were a few taxis waiting.

Before I continue, you should know that all the taxi drivers are Korean and usually don't speak any English accept the words they need to know to get an American from point A to point B. Anywho, with my hospital bag in hand and a few towels between my legs, I crawl into the back seat of the cab. The driver takes one look at me and starts speaking Korean very fast and very loudly with the occasional English word such as "baby," "water," and "Ohh! Ohhh!" I didn't even have to tell him where to go. He was frantic and got me to the hospital in record time.

I paid him (silently giggled some more) and made my way upstairs where they check to see if my water had broken. Apparently the water gushing all over the floor wasn't a clue. The nurse concluded that yes, my water had broken and I was dilated to 4. About 40 minutes after I got to the hospital, TJ showed up. I was waiting to get my epidural in so TJ whipped out a deck of cards and we played a game of rummy. I beat him of course! TJ blames it on the baby mojo but we all know that I am just that good.

In the middle of our second game the epidural lady showed up. By then my contractions were starting and I was ready for it. The epidural started working almost instantly and I was in labor heaven. One side effect of the epidural is nausea, so they gave me something to stop the nausea which then knocked me out and I pretty much slept through the whole labor. The nurse woke me up to check and see how far I dilated. I hadn't progressed at all and because my water had broken there is a risk of infection, so they wanted the baby out sooner rather than later. They pitocin'ed me up a bit which worked like a charm because next thing I know they are waking me up to check me again and telling me that I'm fully dilated. Actually, her exact words were, "well, it looks like your fully dilated so you can start pushing any time. The baby's happy though so if you want to sleep a bit longer, that's perfectly fine." At first I thought she was joking but the look on her face told me she wasn't. I opted to start pushing. I had waited 9 months to meet my daughter, why in the world would I wait any longer. Silly doctor.

Three pushes, a kiss from my husband, and a few jokes later and out came my beautiful, slimy, goo covered baby girl.

Lilah Dawn came out weighing 6 lbs 9 oz and screaming at the top of her healthy little lungs. Music to my ears. Lilah and I were doing so well that the doctor decided to release me the next day. We are now officially a happy, sleep deprived family of 4.

And we lived happily ever after. The End