China -- Day 2, Part C

OK, I have a confession. I love food. I can't help it, it's like an addiction. It's been years since I've gone more than just a few days without it.

We were exploring near our hotel on the second night we were in China, and I found myself in what could be called a "seedy" part of town. There were suspicious looking individuals everywhere, standing behind large contraptions, peddling their various comestibles. I was tempted. I was weak. And I partook.

It's called the "Donghuamen Night Market".

 The good thing about the place is that it had "Honest Operation Safe Purchase", which is reassuring.

...wait, what?

Yes, that is a thing that exists.

OK so it wasn't all terrifying. This is a sort of fried dumpling meatball soup. Take some shredded meat, and braise it in hot broth till it's delicious. Then take the proto-meatballs and roll them in rice flour, and deep fry them. Then serve them floating in more broth and a bunch of fresh cilantro.

Basically, it's a meatball in a dumpling. And it explodes when you eat it, firing a jet of scalding delicious liquid into your facehole.

Brittany had some too!

And Karen!

Mmmmmm... China.

OK so another confession to make. Later another stand had the same meat kabobs for sale, but they definitely weren't labeled "snake meat". They were labeled "animal penis meat".

*cough cough*

Hey look! More food!

Hailey definitely liked the sugar-marinated fruit kabobs. 

Not so much the squid.

This was sugar-coated roasted pineapple halves. Delicious!

Kidney! The best kabob that ever regulated an electrolyte balance!

Have you ever been to a zoo where you are encouraged to peek into the monkey cages and then, at lunchtime, the cafeteria serves you flame-grilled monkeyburgers? That’s the kind of perversely confident “we’re at the top of the food chain” outlook that the Donghuamen Night Market exercises each and every night. I figured that, since I’ve kissed lipstick made of crushed-up cochineal bugs (like it or not, most lipsticks are made from them), over the years I’ve been priming myself for a dish of honey-roasted crickets or caterpillar ceviche. But how do I pull off a wine pairing without looking like an unrefined slob?

There was a surprising amount of arachnids. Lets see how they taste!

 OK so supposedly this is a traditional thing in many parts of central and southeast Asia. I take issue with this statement. Fried tarantula is nasty. This fact, I think, precludes it being a "local delicacy".

First, please note that tarantulas are hairy. Deep-frying this creature makes it taste like burnt hair smells.

Secondly, the abdomen was full of a thick sticky paste, consisting of the majority of the creature's organs, viscera, and excrement. It immediately gave me flashbacks to my time in the orthodontist's office, getting my braces removed, the adhesive thick on my tongue.

Later, our tour guide told me that they started eating insects and such when there were marauding Mongolian hordes keeping the Chinese people from doing things like farming or raising animals. This can't be accurate. Nobody would purposely choose to eat one of these, once they have had one in their mouth.

Really, this is the only proper response.

Hailey's response was also appropriate.

China--Day two, part B

 After the Jade factory we headed to the Great Wall. The drive was beautiful. It almost (but not quite) reminded me of Oregon. We could see the mountains through the smog! Maybe I've lived in Asia too long, because I was ecstatic about being able to see the mountains through the haze. We haven't seen that in a while. Anywho, here are the pictures..

Alright, maybe it was hazier than I thought. I had a Great Wall high apparently. Either way, it was gorgeous. See the Great Wall in the background? Yep, we went there. 

Almost there!

Part of the Great Wall. I looks like a castle.

Oh the places you'll go..

My climber baby climbed herself the ultimate climb of her life. So far anyway.

I love this man. Without him, we wouldn't be here.  

Yep

It basically goes on and on and on. Stairs and stars and more stairs. 

Viewpoint from arrow shooting hole..thingy..what ever it's called. 

Paranoid much?

So, you see the Wall behind us? What we didn't expect was the sheer amount of stair climbing that was involved. I assumed ( like a dork) that we would climb stairs to get to the Wall and then it would be all walking on flat surfaces from there. Nope. Wrong. It was quite literally all stares. Up, up, and up some more. 

Lilah being her normal, everyday self. 

                                      

Before we started really climbing, Hailey kept running ahead of us. This is China. Not Korea, and not the US.  Korea is safe. I feel more comfortable letting Hailey loose there than I did in the states. Koreans don't have creepy kidnappings and child molesters everywhere. Kids are respected and loved. China, not so much. They love kids here too I suppose, but in a obnoxious, I have no manners, and I'll grab your hair, face, arms, ankles(?), and nose kind of way. Anyway, the entire time we were there, I was paranoid about her getting snatched. She is a Schmid, after all, and completely beautiful and perfect in ever way. Who wouldn't want to bring her home? Plus it was so so SO extremely crowded. Even more than Korea, if that's even possible. So she kept running ahead of us, and we kept asking her to stay with us. I finally told her that if she didn't say with us, she would get her nose on the wall.  This is a normal punishment for us. If shes really acting up and we've exhausted all other options, she gets her nose put on a wall for a small time out. Well, she ran ahead of us again so I told her to put her nose on the Great Wall of China. I actually sad that. I didn't even realize that I said those words until I turned to Brittany and she was dying from laughing so hard. It was rather funny if I do say so myself. A parenting highlight. Hailey Rae got her nose put on the Great Wall of China. Huzzah! 

She doesn't even know what she's looking at. What a lucky little girl. 

This is what she was looking at..

There was a gift shop on the Great Wall, so the girls, Brittany, and I all stopped  and took a rest while the guys climbed  bit more. When they came back, David got an ice cream. 

There was a Locks of Love on the Wall! TJ, David, and Hailey walked ahead of us, so when Brittany, Lilah, and I  caught up with them at the bottom, TJ had a lock waiting to be attached to the Wall. I love this guy!

Now we need to put a love lock at the one next to Seoul Tower so we can have one it two different countries. 

Duncan lovins!

*cough, cough* What?? You would have taken a picture also.

My sweet face :*

Lunch was yummy. There was a lazy susan at every table we had and our tour guide ordered a bunch of different things for us. Each of us grabbed what we wanted and put it on our own plate. I feel like this is the way to do it. Every plate of food that was on the lazy susan was a one person serving , but because of the way everything was served, everyone got a little bit of everything and we were all full. I enjoyed the shrimp the bestest. Lucky for me, no one could get past the eyeballs that weren't taken out of it, so they were all mine and TJ's. 

Geez, who's that freak holding up the dead shrimp.

The only meal where she sat down and ate quietly.

She clearly didn't like daddy in her face.

mmmm, soup.

TJ and David trying Chinese liquor. I took a lick and it was gross. I'm a beer girl. 

Here Bebe, you try it. 

No thanks, kid. It's all yours. 

No really, Bebe. TRY IT!
Well, alright. I'll try it since you just shoved it in my face. 

Your turn!

I guess...

I like it sam I am. I really like it!

Clink!

The place where we ate was kind of a tourist hot spot. The bottom floor was full little shops selling a bunch of stuff, and the top floor was the restaurant. On our way back to the van, we spotted this stuff. Interesting.

Maybe it's sort of like face cream or baby oil? You know, like, cream for your placenta? At least, I hope so. The alternative seems unpleasant.

The 13 Ming Tombs - The kings of the Ming dynasty were all  buried here. 

While everyone was listening to the tour guide talk about the history, the girls ran around a bit. 

There was a little garden area right next to where the tour guide was talking so the girls and I took a walk. 

To give you guys an  idea of how much they like white kids, here's a picture. They were taking pictures of the girls, with the girls and then even wanted me to to take a picture of them all with the girls. Plus they wanted one with me...it was strange. Fortunately for us, we live in Korea where this kind of things happens every once in a while. It's only been this bad a few times though, so having this kind of thing happen everywhere we went was a little overwhelming. 

The last emperor of the Ming dynasty was buried underground behind this mausoleum. 

Dead emperors make me want to kiss my husband apparently.

My climber, climbing.

Stride we did not.

This is a statue of the last emperor of the Ming dynasty. People would come by and drop money for him. 

The kids migrated to the tv which I assume was telling us about the  tombs. Unfortunately it was in Chinese.

The ceiling was amazing! This entire building was made with no nails. It was pieced together like a puzzle. 

Brittany and David  were at the top if the building next to the mausoleum so they took a picture of us.

Naked flames we did not have.

My cool chick.

This is Hailey's first ever, girl pose. I didn't teach her this. I'm not sure what happened but I told her to smile and this is what she did. I can't take it!

This is the yin yang gate. On one side of the gate, the living people are. On the other side of the gate the dead people are. In other words, on the other side of this gate is where the tombs lie. 

Obviously another opportunity to smack my slobbery lips on his face. I just cant resist him. 

He's such a good daddy :)

Don't ask. We weren't sure either. This was on our way out of the  Ming tombs. 

Down time. 

After the tombs, we headed to a tea house. This was one of the coolest things we did. Unfortunately Lilah didn't think so and TJ and I had to take turns walking around with Lilah while the tea demonstration was going on. It worked out fine though. We each were able to see half if it and we were both able to try all the tea. Needless to say, we left with a bag full of tea to take home. It was all so yummy!

We tried oolong tea, black tea, jasamine with rose, and a fruit tea. All in all, our favorite was the oolong tea.  

Perty

This lasted about two seconds.

I love these people. I feel like I must brag a bit about them and it has absolutely nothing to do with China. These guys have been some of our best friends since we met. I first met Brittany through another friend and my first experience hanging with Brittany was inviting her to come over and help decorate Hailey's cupcakes for her 4th birthday party. She's been helping me ever since. She's been the sister I needed, the friend I always wanted and the Aunty to my kids that they don't have live and in person right now. David is super funny and smart and I love listening to him and TJ argue over one geeky thing or another.  He's a computer genius and a risk champion. Although I ALMOST beat him ;) Anyway, I love these guys!

Flower tea! When Shirley came to visit, she had a layover in China and bought some flower tea. It starts out as what looks like a big dried dandelion bud. When you pour hot water over it, it blooms right before your eyes, complete with a little flower. It's not the tastiest tea I've ever had, but it's really beautiful. I love it in this clear glass. 

Looking at all the tea sets. 

The street our hotel was on had a bunch of little markets right next door. It was  kinda neat.

As I was taking a picture of this stuff, these guys (posted below)  came up to me and started talking with Lilah. They then grabbed my camera and started taking pictures of them self's posing with me, with my camera. Needless to say, I was a bit confused. The also kept saying Lilah's name over and over again which was weird. Come to find out, Lilah means "i'm coming" in Chinese. So everyone staring at me like i'm a freak every time I called out Lilah's name all made sense. I just thought it was because they thought I was crazy for traveling with a toddler. Maybe both?

TJ and I watched Bizarre Foods Beijing before we left. In it, the  host guy talked about how there were people that were dancing, playing hacky sack, running, biking, anything to keep active, all over the place. he was right. This was about 8 at night and people were dancing outside a church. It was so neat! Tony and Judy, you would have loved it! I bet you would have joined in ;) We definitely thought of you guys. 

We were on our way to the "food street." I mentioned watching Bizarre Foods. Well it just so happens that our hotel was walking distance from the very street that what's his bucket, host guy ate all kinds of weird things at. TJ being the foodie that he is, insisted that we check it out. But you'll have to wait until tomorrow for that blog post. We had a great time trying out all the nasty foods. Here's a photo teaser....

Until tomorrow!